looking out on my roof last night
woken up from a dream
i saw a typhoon coming in close
bringing the clouds down to the sea
making the world look gray and alone
taking all light from my view
keeping everyone in
and keeping me here with you

around you now, i can’t sleep no more baby
around you still, don’t want to leave yet

woken up from a dream last night
somewhere lost in war
i couldn’t feel my feet or hands
i didn’t feel right anymore
i knew there I’d die alone
with no one to reach to
but an angel came down
and brought me back to you

i’d rather leave this world forever baby
than let life go the way it’s going

watching an old fight film last night
Ray Mancini vs. Duk Koo Kim
the boy from Seoul was hanging in good
but the pounding took to him
and there in the square he lay alone
without face without crown
and the angel who looked upon
never came down

you never know what day could pick you baby
out of the air, out of nowhere

come to me once more my love
show me love I’ve never known
sing to me once more my love
words from your younger years
sing to me once more my love
songs that i love to hear

birds gather ’round my window
fly with everything i love about the day
flowers, blue and gold and orange
rise with everything i love about the day

walk with me down these strange streets
how have we come to be here
so kind are all these people
how have we come to know them

my incomprehensible being

of nothingness and madness

and staggering complexity

for which I know nothing.

A few scribbles on a blog

a few mindless words

that may or may not have meaning to me

or to anyone else

I’ve given up for now,

until I try another day when I have a new energy,

when I’m no longer tired of avoiding people

and tired of being alone.

I’ve given too much.

my heart bleeds out

to a slow beat

of remorse and regret

of wondering when I will get my chance

the reminder of ice.

Ice and fire,

a mixture of winter.

A battle over comfort,

a battle over living or dying.

Fire and ice live side by side.

The flickering of the flame

a beacon in the black night.

A beacon of hope where there is none

but deathly cold stillness

the incomprehensible mutter of winter.

meld into one concrete thought,

a thought incomprehensible

unless you are in the exact moment

of listening.

Powerful enough to be an ally,

weak enough to cause you crushing defeat,

it suspends time and pauses hurt and debt

it leads you to a dissatisfaction of not knowing

the meaning, the end, the result, the conclusion.

I could forever remember what you mean to me,

I could begin to disintegrate tomorrow and never remember another thing,

my life is full of stops and starts,

It ends and it begins again.

I know not where to place my next thought.

You are my love, but you are my question mark.

What is love but a chemical reaction?

A chemical that seperates us.

We are dealing with each other.

Love is tolerating the other’s faults.

My agony results in your questioning.

My inability to answer is my lasting impression.

My final memory will be incomplete,

because I have never seen you or held you.

Winter is darkness.
Darkness comes early in winter.
Without sunshine, my thoughts turn towards the dark
much earlier than usual.

Loneliness.
Being alone.
I could be surrounded by people and still be alone.

My thoughts turn inward,
where there is nothing but the chill of winter.
A fire that fails to start,
firewood wet with sadness.